According to relationship experts and best-selling authors, Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks, who have been successfully married for 25 years, the first big secret to a lasting relationship is the C-word most people dread – commitment. In a romantic relationship, couples should commit to processes or how to get things done together and not to outcomes as these will not lead them their desired goals for the relationship. Similarly, speaking honestly and telling the truth are ways of committing. Contrary to what others think, secrecy and keeping a part of oneself are not healthy. Moreover, since it is not easy to fully commit, each one may sometimes fail; yet the secret is to keep on recommitting and not dwell on the failure of committing (Hughes, 2006).The second big secret according to the Hendricks is knowing how to deal with emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness.
These are the most difficult feelings humans need to address; hence learning how to be aware of these feelings and to speak about these in a simple and honest way (Hughes, 2006) is crucial for the relationship. With this, healthy and open communication lines should be maintained between couples.Another big secret to a lasting relationship is creativity.
The Hendricks claimed that couples should learn how to support the creative path of their partners. They further said that creativity adds to people’s attractiveness and revitalization. Moreover, creativity in individuality and in unity is also important in maintaining relationships. Hence, appreciation or gratitude for these also need to be maintained.Consequently, maintaining a relationship is not just a walk in the park for couples.
For it to last, commitment, communication, and creativity are needed.