We are discussing about the demotic belief that women make up as better parents than men and how this is disclaimed by some men. Fathers play an important in the development of a child, as important as a mother’s role.
Mothers as parents
From the psychological perspective the children believe that they are more important to their mothers than to their fathers, therefore that make the mothers’ position as a more caring parent who will be most affected if something goes wrong with their children. We can find ample examples around us which confirm that mothers are more dedicated towards their children. For examples when couples go through the divorce process, chances are higher that mothers get the custody of the children especially if the children are young. A Population Survey was conducted in US in 1992 by the US Census Bureau which showed that 86% of custodial parents are mothers.
Women share a closer bond with their children. It is also due to the biological factor, a mother keeps the child in her womb for almost 9 months and then later breast feed him for several months, which create a special bond between a mother and a child at the very early age. There is necessary elicit maternal care such as crying, sucking, clinging which is all performed by a mother, this feeling of protection for a child promote the contact between the mother and a child. For a child a mother is the most important figure for him when he is just an infant and he sees his father as a mother’s helper (Kanazawa, 2008)
A man can produce a lot more children than a woman can. The largest number of children a man had ever produced is 1042 and he was the Sharifian emperor of Morocco, Moulay Ismail, on the other hand the largest numbers of children produced by a woman are 69 which she produced in 27 pregnancies. The difference in the reproductive system makes every child for a woman far more important than for a man. If something happens to a child because of her mother’s negligence, a mother would never be able get over her woe but there are quite some potentials in men to move on to produce some other. The commitment level of a mother with her child is a lot greater than the father and therefore that makes a mother more concerned about the parenting of a child. The children also feel the commitment level of their mothers and that is why they move closer to their mother naturally.
Women have an emotional side to themselves which helps a child in fostering an emotional bond with their mothers. Mothers tend to understand their child more than their fathers. Even when a child has not started speaking, a mother can tell when her child is hungry; she can read the facial expressions of her child. Feeling of a relationship is more between a mother and a child as compared to a father- child relation. A mother satisfies her child by fulfilling her emotional needs and by being more caring towards him. Fathers tend to work at their work places more than mothers, especially in the eastern culture, so the most available parent for a child is mother which further enhances their relationship. Further mothers are more solicitous towards their child’s illness, his nutrition and his education as well so a mother does contribute more society’s health, productivity and wealth.
A survey data found out that woman pray more often than men, believe in god more than men do and therefore generally are more religious with high conscience level, which makes them a better parent. It is more likely that women would guide their children religiously better than their fathers, which would raise them into better human beings.
When a child reaches his teenage, most fathers withdraw from their attachment with their children, especially the girls. Girls are more comfortable in talking to their mothers because she is available to them when they need her (Brott)
Fathers as Parents
On the other hand it is claimed that men can be as good parents as women. It is said the mothers can sense the signals of the children even when they cannot speak, men claim that if fathers spend more time with their babies, they are capable to do the same and the only fact that keeps them away from home and their children are that they are breadwinners and they are not usually present at home because they are busy earning money for their children’s well being and for their secure future. The attachment of a father to his child equally important as the attachment of a child’s with his mother. For example, a study on the primary school children found out that the children who had greater attachment with their fathers, when they were infants, scored higher in the empathy test (Chozick, 2010).
The playful time a father spends with his children when they are toddlers, proves to be very constitutive in the development of the child. It helps a child in becoming more confident and in building a strong personality. And a study has also proven that the fathers who spend quality time with their children score high in tests of thinking and problem solving skills.
It is not only mothers who teach their children to be emotionally intelligent but fathers do that too. They teach them through daily interaction, direct teaching and by building an emotional bond with their children. Children who have an emotional attachment with their fathers are good at handling their relations later in life and are also less aggressive. Mothers are proven to be not so affective when it comes to emotional regulations and peers relationship (Civitas)
A father plays an influential role in a child’s life when he encourages the child to face new challenges and become more independent. This helps the child in becoming more skillful who is ready to take responsibilities for his own actions. For children who have newly joined a school, their fathers have a stronger positive influence than their mothers (Pleck, 1984).
Father’s guidance is very essential for a child’s moral development. Children tend to learn a lot by observing their fathers. Fathers who take good care of their families, spend more time at home and have an attachment with the family, their children prove to be better parents in the future. For a teenager, the conversations with his father and his guidance are really valuable. In many places a mother cannot fulfill the space where a fatherly figure is needed. The Pew Research centre surveyed 2,020 Americans and found out that today fathers are performing better than the mothers (Morgan, 2007)
A father is someone who creates the discipline and restrictions in the house which plays an important part in the upbringing of a child. He is a figure of protection for a child and someone who will defend him. Father plays an active role in the decision making of the families and the children depend a lot on their parents’ decision especially when they are young.
A mother and a father share an equal role in the parenting of a child. A right combination of mother’s care, father’s restriction and disciplinary acts, providing emotional support and guidance makes the right parenting. When mother provides a child with emotional warmth, father provides him protection and security. The elements from both mother and father make the appropriate combination of parenting.
Amy Chozick. (2010). How parents became cool. The wall street journal, NY ,pg D-1Retrieved April, 29th, 2010
Pleck, J.H. (1984). Working Wives and Family Well-being. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 7, pp. 167-176. Retrieved April, 29th, 2010.
Armin Brott. Are father biological inferior parents. Retrieved April 29 2010, from www.greatdad.com
Civitas. How do fathers fit in. Retrieved April 29th,2010, from www.civitas.org.uk
Jonathon Morgan. (2007). Fathers better parents than mothers. Retrieved April 29, 2010, from www.parentdish.com
Satoshi Kanazawa. (2008). The scientific fundamentalist. Retrieved April 29th, 2010, from www.psychologytoday.com