Parentsare the first and most influential relationship in a child’s life. The impactof parenting is more important than can be imagined and leaves a lifelongimprint on a person. Diana Baumrind studied parents and came up with fourseparate parenting styles identified including: neglectful parenting, authoritativeparenting, authoritarian parenting and permissive parenting. (Joseph , 2008) Each parenting style has a huge impact on how a child will developinto a functioning member of society. Baudmrindidentifies authoritarian parenting as strict because these parents tend toemphasize obedience, emphasize respect for authority and they expect rules tobe followed. This style also can come off very harshly as if it’s bullying.
Agreat teacher I had referred to it as “my way or the highway!” Children who arebrought up in an authoritarian parenting household may grow up to be highlyaggressive, have a harder time making relationships and have lower self-esteem.(Joseph & John, 2008) While there are parents who are toohard on their children, there is the complete opposite with permissive parents.This is the “cool mom” technique where the parent would rather be a friend thanan authority figure. These parents may have good intentions and be also verynurturing but their lack of standards and inconsistent rules have some negativeconsequences. It’s frustrating for both parent and child when it comes tokeeping boundaries but when a child is given into too often they tend to becomesomewhat immature, less likely to take responsibilities and less independent.Children who grow up with permissive parents may also become more aggressiveand show lower education motivation.
(Joseph & John, 2008)A style of parenting that can do very muchharm and cause a lot of emotional trauma is neglectful parenting. Somecharacteristics of a neglectful parenting include being uninvolved in a child’sproblems as they are too occupied with their own. A parent may show forms ofneglect when they are under the influence of drugs, alcohol or prescriptionmedications. Lack of supervision is common among neglectful parents. They donot show love or warmth to the child. Children may lack in strong relationshipsfurther in life due to the disturbed child-parent relationship and may engagein meaningless sex at an early age. Adolescents are more impulsive andanti-social, are less achievement-oriented in school and more likely to becomedelinquents.
(Joseph & John, 2008) As a society we tend to focus on the badparenting and negative outcomes, though there is a style of parenting that hasa bit of everything to make a child mature properly to their full potential;authoritative parenting. Authoritative parents listen to their children and encourageindependence. Discipline is moderate with specific limits, consequences, and expectationson their children’s behavior. These parents express warmth, they allow childrento express opinions, they encourage children to discuss options and theyadminister fair and consistent discipline. Children are encouraged to expresstheir individualized opinions, parents discuss various options and expresswarmth.
Due to the clear and fair standards held for the children, they tend tobe less aggressive, less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol, areoverall better problem solvers, have stronger future relationships and are moreindependent. (Joseph & John, 2008) There was a study done in India of72 families including a father, mother, preschooler and preadolescent child.(Steinburg, Lamborn, Dornbusch, Darling, 1992) The data was collected using asocio demographic information sheet including: age, gender, family type andsize, education, occupation of parent, monthly income and duration of maritallife. No matter the social class, 73% of parents used authoritative techniques.
There was a positive correlation between the parenting style and the level ofeducation of the parent. The study also says 65% of parents with professionssaid they would like to use permissive techniques. The longer the parents weremarried, the better choice of parenting styles. This information shows thatparenting in India is actually quite effective in the style choice. “The child lives and gains the firstsocial experiences in the family. The child learns in the interaction processwithin the family that, how s/he should behave towards those people aroundthem, how to cope with the problems that may be encountered.
” (Aslan andCansever, 2007) A study done with 231 5 – 6 year olds in a classroom settingshows the impact of parenting styles on social skills. This study showed thatparents with a high democratic attitude, or authoritative style, correlated tobetter social skills in children. Children with “over protective” parents hadsignificantly less social skills. (Kol, 2015)Parents are the most important people to achild in the first few years of life and even after that. After a child moveson and creates their own family a parent’s job is not over. They still need tobe there for support, love and comfort. The effects of the parenting style cando much harm or nurture a child to their full potential. Awareness in parentingstyle is very important in modern parenting.
(Joseph & John, 2008) Thoughparenting is just one factor of a child’s development it is not to be takenlightly.