Parents A great teacher I had referred to

Parents
are the first and most influential relationship in a child’s life. The impact
of parenting is more important than can be imagined and leaves a lifelong
imprint on a person. Diana Baumrind studied parents and came up with four
separate parenting styles identified including: neglectful parenting, authoritative
parenting, authoritarian parenting and permissive parenting. (Joseph &
John, 2008) Each parenting style has a huge impact on how a child will develop
into a functioning member of society.

                        Baudmrind
identifies authoritarian parenting as strict because these parents tend to
emphasize obedience, emphasize respect for authority and they expect rules to
be followed. This style also can come off very harshly as if it’s bullying. A
great teacher I had referred to it as “my way or the highway!” Children who are
brought up in an authoritarian parenting household may grow up to be highly
aggressive, have a harder time making relationships and have lower self-esteem.
(Joseph & John, 2008)

            While there are parents who are too
hard on their children, there is the complete opposite with permissive parents.
This is the “cool mom” technique where the parent would rather be a friend than
an authority figure. These parents may have good intentions and be also very
nurturing but their lack of standards and inconsistent rules have some negative
consequences. It’s frustrating for both parent and child when it comes to
keeping boundaries but when a child is given into too often they tend to become
somewhat immature, less likely to take responsibilities and less independent.
Children who grow up with permissive parents may also become more aggressive
and show lower education motivation. (Joseph & John, 2008)

A style of parenting that can do very much
harm and cause a lot of emotional trauma is neglectful parenting. Some
characteristics of a neglectful parenting include being uninvolved in a child’s
problems as they are too occupied with their own. A parent may show forms of
neglect when they are under the influence of drugs, alcohol or prescription
medications. Lack of supervision is common among neglectful parents. They do
not show love or warmth to the child. Children may lack in strong relationships
further in life due to the disturbed child-parent relationship and may engage
in meaningless sex at an early age. Adolescents are more impulsive and
anti-social, are less achievement-oriented in school and more likely to become
delinquents. (Joseph & John, 2008)           

As a society we tend to focus on the bad
parenting and negative outcomes, though there is a style of parenting that has
a bit of everything to make a child mature properly to their full potential;
authoritative parenting. Authoritative parents listen to their children and encourage
independence. Discipline is moderate with specific limits, consequences, and expectations
on their children’s behavior. These parents express warmth, they allow children
to express opinions, they encourage children to discuss options and they
administer fair and consistent discipline. Children are encouraged to express
their individualized opinions, parents discuss various options and express
warmth. Due to the clear and fair standards held for the children, they tend to
be less aggressive, less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol, are
overall better problem solvers, have stronger future relationships and are more
independent. (Joseph & John, 2008)

            There was a study done in India of
72 families including a father, mother, preschooler and preadolescent child.
(Steinburg, Lamborn, Dornbusch, Darling, 1992) The data was collected using a
socio demographic information sheet including: age, gender, family type and
size, education, occupation of parent, monthly income and duration of marital
life. No matter the social class, 73% of parents used authoritative techniques.
There was a positive correlation between the parenting style and the level of
education of the parent. The study also says 65% of parents with professions
said they would like to use permissive techniques. The longer the parents were
married, the better choice of parenting styles. This information shows that
parenting in India is actually quite effective in the style choice. 

“The child lives and gains the first
social experiences in the family. The child learns in the interaction process
within the family that, how s/he should behave towards those people around
them, how to cope with the problems that may be encountered.” (Aslan and
Cansever, 2007) A study done with 231 5 – 6 year olds in a classroom setting
shows the impact of parenting styles on social skills. This study showed that
parents with a high democratic attitude, or authoritative style, correlated to
better social skills in children. Children with “over protective” parents had
significantly less social skills. (Kol, 2015)

Parents are the most important people to a
child in the first few years of life and even after that. After a child moves
on and creates their own family a parent’s job is not over. They still need to
be there for support, love and comfort. The effects of the parenting style can
do much harm or nurture a child to their full potential. Awareness in parenting
style is very important in modern parenting. (Joseph & John, 2008) Though
parenting is just one factor of a child’s development it is not to be taken
lightly. 

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